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#16: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Fenman, Location: Cambridge UK

Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 5:03 pm
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A girlfriend once asked me what my new aftershave was called.

I answered "It's called 'Come to me' "

She said....

"It doesnt smell like cum to me"

#17: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: peakz,

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 8:37 pm
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Ba-da-bum, cymbal!

Thanks everyone, Fenman will be doing his stand-up routine here all week! Smile

#18: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Fenman, Location: Cambridge UK

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:23 pm
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Who me ???

Last night I dreamed I was shagging the ex-wife .... when I woke up I WAS

#19: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Fenman, Location: Cambridge UK

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:29 pm
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An altar boy goes to confession:

"Father I've been having sex with a girl from the village"

Priest say: "Is it Mary McGee?"

"NO"

"Is it Donna McPhail?"

"NO"

"Is it Sinead O'Riley?"

"NO"

Priest: "Say 12 Hail Mary's - and you're banned from the choir for 28 days"

The guys friend asks how he got on

"Not bad, he said, I got four weeks holiday and three good leads"

#20: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Brianne, Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 4:43 pm
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My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning, can you believe that? 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes

#21: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Brianne, Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 4:45 pm
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My wife has been missing a week now. Police came round this morning and said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

#22: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Fenman, Location: Cambridge UK

Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 4:50 pm
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Very good Brianne !!!

By the way, how do you manage to stay stuck up that tart with the black knickers and strill send e-mails ???

Remarkable ....

(Was shagging this bird recently and she said "Careful, are you trying to get ya balls in as well ?" ..... I gently explained that I was tryng to get them out)

#23: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Brianne, Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 6:27 pm
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A mate of mine admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time

#24: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Brianne, Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 6:29 pm
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I just met a fat, alcoholic, transvestite.

He wants to eat, drink, and be Mary

#25: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Fenman, Location: Cambridge UK

Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 6:30 pm
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Is Muffin The Mule illegal?

#26: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Brianne, Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 6:31 pm
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My daughter son asked me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70 each.

“Blow this,” I thought, “I can get one cheaper off the Web

#27: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Fenman, Location: Cambridge UK

Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 7:29 pm
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The Royal Wedding

Guy goes into the chemist and ask for a packet of Durex. He takes the Royal Wedding Souvenir pack - one red, one white, one blue.

Eight months later he's back at the chemist enquiring about maternity bras.

Chemist asks "What bust?"

Guy says "The blue one"

#28: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: peakz,

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 2:11 pm
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Fenman, Brianne, and the Pope walk into a pub . . .

#29: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Fenman, Location: Cambridge UK

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 2:14 pm
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.......... Fenman is only 2 feet tall and is taken into the bar by Brianne . The Barman says to Brianne "Get him out, we dont serve shorts"

#30: Re: The Sin of Wanking Author: Brianne, Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 5:33 pm
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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a pub. The barman looks up. Is this a joke, he says.

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